For anyone out there who also owns a cockatoo, you may be in perfect agreement. For anyone out there who's never owned one before, maybe this is what it will take to convince you to give cockatoo ownership a try...
Or perhaps avoid it like your life depends on it.
"As a veteran cockatoo prisoner of almost 40 years, I can tell you that these birds will remember everything done to them and hold a grudge forever. Wild ones are nothing to mess with. They will chew anything and everything. If they can get to it, it is theirs. They respect no boundaries, rules don't apply to them, and they will retaliate when you least expect it if they get it in their mind that you are owed a dose of Karma. I have had many many many cockatoos in my time and although their personalities all differed, the one thing they, and 99% of the other large parrots, have in common is an unaware animal will quickly rethink its life choices when on the receiving end of a bite from that vicious beak. Even the friendliest most timid bird will lay some medieval agony on a dog, cat, llama, wildebeest, whatever, if given the chance."
"I have a 100lb german shepherd that got it in his brain that he wanted to grab our cockatoo one day and she had him in the corner squealing like a pig and pissing all over himself before we could even jump up our of our chair. There aren't enough dog treats in the world to make him go near her now. Our 5 cats avoid them like the plague as well. Anytime a new critter joins our home, first thing they get to do is meet the birds. One quick nip from them and they never thing of going for them again."
"A side note, I am fully convinced that ALL cockatoos are insane. They are fun to own, they are adorable to watch, but deep inside that tiny feathered skull is a scratched, perpetually skipping warped record playing the soundtrack to Silent Hill backwards. If you could experience the brain of a cockatoo first hand, you would probably feel like you had dropped 1,000 hits of premium acid and boarded the scariest roller coaster ever imagined. I love each and every one I have ever met, but they are ALL insane."